Thursday, January 25, 2018

Week 2 Story: The Jealous Crocodile

A monkey and a crocodile. Source: Flickr

Once upon a time there was a great and powerful monkey lord who lived on a river bank at the base of the Himalayas.  He was so great and powerful that everyone in the land that had seen or heard of him admired his strength and stature.  There was one admirer in particular that began to grow bitter of the praise and admiration the monkey constantly received from others.  This bitter creature was a great crocodile who lived in the river that the monkey lived on the bank of.  This crocodile wanted to eat the heart of the Monkey in front of all to prove to the world how much greater he was than the monkey.  The crocodile began to hatch a plan to trick the monkey into the river where he could easily overpower him and take his heart.  He began to observe the monkey's daily habits, trying to find a perfect time to lure him into the river.  He saw that the monkey would come to the banks of the river every morning to harvest figs from a tree that was on the river bank.  This is where the crocodile decided to lay his trap.  One day, when the money was harvesting figs from his tree the crocodile approached him from the river.  

The crocodile approached the monkey and asked, "why do you eat these figs from this tree when there are much tastier foods on the opposite bank with mango and labuja trees with tastier fruit than you can imagine!"  

The monkey, intrigued by the crocodiles description, responds with "I do see the fruit trees on the opposite bank but I have no way to cross the river to get to them.  If I tried to swim, I would surely drown." 

"I will carry you across" responds the crocodile, "If you can't swim well enough, you can stand on my back as I swim to the other side."

The monkey, pondering this proposal for a few minutes, decided to go along with the crocodile's plan.  He stepped onto the back of the crocodile and the crocodile began swimming across the river to the other side.  When they had reached the middle of the river, the crocodile told the monkey his devious plan.

Horrified, the monkey begins to think of any way to save his life and quickly exclaims, "You cannot eat my heart for I have left it on the river bank,  you think I would keep something so important with me all the time where I could lose it?"

This statement confused the crocodile because he assumed the monkey's heart was inside him like his own, but he also did not know the differences between a monkey and a crocodile.  In his confusion he made a hasty decision to bring the monkey back to the bank to find his heart.  He would keep the monkey in the water so he could not leave and try and figure out where the monkey had left his heart.  As he neared the bank, the monkey suddenly jumped off of the crocodiles back with tremendous force; enough to get him all the way to the bank.  This surprised and confused the crocodile because he was not aware the monkey had such strength.  

The monkey exclaimed, "you see stupid crocodile, you will never have my heart if you don't even know where to find it.  I have beaten you and you now will die."

The crocodile, stunned by the monkey's statement just laid in the river where he was too shocked to move.  The monkey then grabbed a branch from the fig tree and splintered it off into a makeshift spear in an instant.  He then thrust the spear with great force at the crocodile and pierced his heart.  The crocodile thrashed and panicked for a few moments, but it was too late, and he soon perished.  The crocodile wanted so badly to have the monkey's heart to prove his worth, but in the end, he lost his own.

Author's Note: The original story is about a crocodile who wants to please his wife by stealing the heart of a great monkey who lived on the river bank for her to eat.  The monkey bests the crocodile by tricking him into bringing him to safety by saying he left his heart in the fig tree.  I changed the story to remove the wife and make it more about the crocodiles jealousy instead of pleasing his wife.  The monkey tricks the crocodile in a similar way, but kills the crocodile in the end, instead of letting him go.  I think this makes it more interesting because the crocodile faces real consequences for his actions, instead of just a disappointed wife.

Bibliography: "The Monkey and The Crocodile" from Eastern Stories and Legends by Marie L. Shedlock.


4 comments:

  1. Hi David! I really enjoyed reading your version of the story. I like that you changed the ending to where there was an actual consequence for the greediness of the crocodile. I also like your ending statement that gives the audience a big picture moral of the story. Your descriptions are vivid and your organization into paragraphs and dialogue is easy to follow. Keep up the good work!

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  2. Hi David! I really liked your version of this story. Also, I love the layout of your blog. Anytime I read stories like this I always wonder why the bad guys, in this case the crocodile, decide to make terrible decisions like revealing their plans to their victims. If he had just eaten the monkey instead of revealing his diabolical plan, he would've won.

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  3. Hey David! You have such a nice writing style. You seem to really know what you're doing and how you should best write a story! Do you have any experience prior to this course in creative writing?

    I also read this story a few weeks ago and I really enjoyed it, although, the character of the wife was a little bit odd to me, so I particularly enjoy that you removed her from the story. I agree with some of the other comments on this story post that it was a great move to focus solely on the monkey and the crocodile and what they were doing and trying to handle rather that creating a confusing web of characters that you had to include and describe throughout the story. I really like the moral that is taught, but I am confused as to why the crocodile had to die? Was the issue not that the monkey just wanted off of the crocodile's back? Or was the monkey convinced that in order to be safe, he must kill the crocodile as to never run into him again?

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  4. Hello! I am back to comment on your story, and I just wanted to say again that I really enjoy your writing style. I have previously attempted to rewrite this story, and I was just not creative enough to make it happen. You however, had no issue at all, and I would really like to read more of your work!

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