Duryodhana facing off against Yudhishthira (in my story at least). Source:
Flickr
Karna had been slain. It was the worst possible outcome for Duryodhana's forces. He couldn't believe the situation he was in. Just days ago he was boasting of his superior military strength to the seemingly unassuming force of Yudhishthira, now Yudhishthira's forces were marching on his position now, with not much in their way. Since Karna was slain, Duryodhana's forces had been scattered and in a panic. They were still a bigger force, but they had no one leading their movements or devising strategy. Duryodhana had to pick a new general, or his army would be destroyed in no time at all. Duryodhana picked Shalya as the next general in command of his army, but by the time he got what little forces Duryodhana had left together, the enemy was already upon them. Shayla lead Duryodhana's forces in a head on last resort attack on Yudhishthira's encroaching army with disastrous results. Shayla was slain and the fragments of Duryodhana's forces either dispersed and fled or joined the other side. Moments before Yudhishthira and his brethren reached Duryodhana's location, Duryodhana fled with his mace to hide away from the coming judgement at the bottom of a lake where he could survive indefinitely . While he did this most of his brothers were slain by Yudhishthira and his company. Soon all that remained of Duryodhana's grand army was Ashwathaman, Kripa, Kritavarman, and himself. It took many days for Yudhishthira's men to discover the location of Duryodhana's hiding place, but eventually Bhima discovered where it was.
When they arrived Yudhishthira called out to Duryodhana saying, "Duryodhana, come forth and face judgment, so your Kingdom can once again be mine."
Duryodhana called back out to Yudhishthira saying, "You can have my kingdom, just leave me at peace, and you can do whatever it is you desire."
Yudhishthira refused this request, citing that he can only claim that which he has rightfully obtained in combat. Duryodhana accepts this fact and makes a deal with Yudhishthira to fight his forces one by one until he is beaten. Yudhishthira decides he will deal with Duryodhana immediately so he is the first to face him. It is a greater risk, but will end the conflict sooner. Duryodhana emerges from the lake and they begin their fight. To no ones surprise, Yudhishthira defeats the weakened Duryodhana hastily and claims his Kingdom.
Author's Note: I didn't like how Yudhishthira didn't just take care of Duryodhana immediately, so I changed the story to give it a more abrupt and satisfying end.
David, I really like the colorful language you used in your story. It really helped to give body to the narrative and immerse the reader. I also liked how you took the text and reworked it to be a more satisfying story. I often find myself doing that with the assignments as well. It is fun to rework them! Great story.
ReplyDeleteHello again David. One of the things that aggravates me with some of these stories (and just fiction in general) is that quite often things are unnecessarily drawn out. Or character react to things in ways that lack common sense. I like that you had Yudhishthira come out first, and when you think about it, that's what a true hero would do. He wouldn't sacrifice his men one by one, he would end things himself and save his men. Great retelling!
ReplyDeleteHi David! I often feel like a bit of common sense would go a far way in stories, and you showed that well. It seemed crazy to me that Yudhishthira and Duryodhana couldn't just battle immediately and instead brought so many other people into the fight, so I liked that you avoided this and just finished the war before it even started. Great job!
ReplyDeleteNice to meet your David!
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading your story "Duryodhana's Defeat". I agree with the changes you made to the orginal story, although making the author's note slightly longer when your maybe not on a time crunch would make the story a little better and more understandable. Anyway thanks for the good read and I hope to read more of your stories in the future.
Hey David! This battle is one of my favorite readings in the Mahabharata! I think it is great that you just went ahead and ended the war prematurely by having Yudihistera fight Duryodhana. It almost makes the story comical. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi David! I think it is great that you did what you wanted with the story. I feel like this is the point of rewriting them... make them how we want them to be. I don't really know the original story, however, so I think a longer author's note would have helped me there so I could know exactly it was you changed to make it end more abruptly. Anyways, it was great.
ReplyDeleteHey David! This was a really fast moving story. It felt a little chaotic, but I think that made it more realistic, since battle is chaotic. It was pretty heartbreaking, but then again so is the original story. I like that you took something you didn't like from the original and made it your own. It may have been cool to see the actual battle between Yudhishthira and Duryodhana, to give one last little bit of action. But overall this was a very entertaining version.
ReplyDeleteHey David,
ReplyDeleteI really liked the pace of this story. It did not drag along at all. This made for a fun read. You still managed to put a great deal of description in such short amount of text. I was really drawn into the story from start to finish.