Hi David! What a great idea to pit Indra against the leaders of the Norse pantheon! I am intrigued, and I can't wait to read some stories, especially to learn how Indra's appearance throws everything out of whack for Thor and Zeus (and to learn more about the timeline, considering the cyclic nature of Indra's existence). Your site is very functional and easy to navigate, and the picture you've chosen is great.
I do think that the giant paragraph in your introduction could be broken into a few smaller pieces, for reading ease and to add some structure to the storyplan you've laid out. Just a thought!
I also find myself wanting to see a picture of Thor and Zeus somewhere, to get a visual of them on the same page as Indra (kind of like when you see a wrestling advertisement?) This could build some additional suspense for your readers, too.
This is a great project idea, I am looking forward to the stories!
Hey David, I picked your story because I like tales that deal with super hero's, this means that this story will have action and reading about action is always exciting. Thor and Zeus tales are always full of fighting and action so I see why you picked this to Thunder of Gods for your story. I can not wait to see what else you have in story between these Gods. This was a good start off because you tell the overall idea of the story then you kind of branch off and tell a few different things that happened. Having a story telling with Gods is always a good way to catch a persons attention that enjoys these kind of tales. Battles in these tales always make the reader more interesting because someone always come out in the lower end. I think you did good telling this tale and I think it will be a good tale.
Hey David! I am so excited about your storybook. I think it is such a great idea to mix mythologies by bringing in various gods with the same (or at least similar) legends and powers. Your introduction offered a great outline of what to expect in your story. Have you considered maybe writing it more like a story that just a description? Adding a little drama, dialogue, and maybe a specific scene could be a great way to grab your readers' interest. I also think it may be fun to end your story with the three gods getting along and living in peace for thousands of years only to have to band together to face a new god of thunder: Russell Westbrook (Or Nick Collison or Steven Adams or whoever). Or maybe these gods are who began the OKC Thunder? It's a pretty silly suggestion, but I just thought I'd throw it out there in case you were looking for a way to modernize what is sure to be an exciting story!
Hey there, David! I am super excited to read the stories that you have planned for the rest of the semester. I am a huge fan of Greek Mythology, so I was happy to see that you are including Zeus in your storybook. I also think it is awesome that you are using Thor, a Norse god, as well. I had never thought to cross over heroic figures from different cultures. I think what you are doing here is really awesome because of that. I do not know much about Indra. I did a little bit of research on Indra weeks ago, but I do not know much. I am wondering how Indra will react to Zeus and Thor? Zeus seems to be very combative about this new rival. However, will Indra be more reasonable and seek peace? I will definitely be checking in over the course of the semester to see what you are able to create!
Hey David! Wow, what an interesting topic for your storybook! Combining Greek mythology, Indian epics, and Marvel comics is such a unique and cool idea. I would have never thought of this concept myself so I must give you props for this idea for your storybook. I enjoyed the background you gave, especially the background info and knowledge about Thor and Zeus. To add to your introduction, you could briefly talk about the fight between Thor and Zeus. I enjoyed how you describe the personalities of Thor and Zeus. It gives readers an idea of who they are and how their personalities can influence their encounter with Indra. I like how you finished the introduction with the two questions. It makes readers want to read your stories to answer the questions given in the introduction. Overall, well-written and intriguing introduction! Great intro and I cannot wait to read your stories, David!
Hey David! I really enjoyed reading your introduction page. The title of your website really caught my eye because I am so interested in this sort of writing. I am actually watching the new movie, Thor Ragnarok. I am really just now getting interested in this sort of thing, so I really hope that reading your writing throughout the remainder of this semester will make me even more interested.
I would also really like to know how you got into this kind of thing and what interests you. I really think writing should be inspired by something that we love because the writing just seems to flow more well and make more sense when we are truly passionate about it. I see that you have not yet posted any stories, so one suggestion that I have is that when you do post, make sure that you are really into what you have to say.
Hey there, David! I really like your Introduction. You really did combine Greek Mythology, Indian Epics, and Marvel Comics three different topic into one I never have thought of that, it a really unique idea. Plus I like how you picked all three gods who control lightning and they also fight with lighting so basically lightning run in their blood. I also like how you introduce the background of Thor, Zeus, and how they fought for centuries but couldn’t decide on who the winner is and then comes Indra another god of thunder and they have share their power? I don’t think so. I personally knew the background of Indra because I believe in Hinduism so I know what he does and who he is and how arrogant he is so we will definitely see a big fight. And I also liked how you ended the intro with question and can’t wait to read your stories and one more thing it would help a lot if you divide this giant paragraph in to two to three. Good Luck
Hi David! The premise for your story book is very interesting! I love the idea of different Gods from different pantheons coming together to do battle with each other. It reminds me of the video game, Smite, which is a MOBA comprised entirely of gods, goddesses, and various other mythological beings from different pantheons. I think you could have done a bit more exposition in your introduction, however. Most of it was spent explaining Zeus and Thor's feud and stalemate, and putting less emphasis on Indra. I think more focus could be put on Indra and his rise, even though the first story is all about Indra's beginnings. It would be nice to get a preview of it in the introduction and would help to set the stage for the first story in your storybook, along with the set up for the later stories that you already have. All in all, your storybook looks awesome, and I'll definitely be checking back in soon to see how Indra fares against the thunder gods of the Greek and Norse pantheons!
Hi David! I loved how learning about Indra! When I was thinking about doing the storybook he was one of the subjects I considered. I am a big fan of marvel characters and so I am glad that you connected Thor into the story, and Zeus is so well known from most people’s high school that I think it was good you included him too. These factors make the story so interesting and fun. I also liked the writing style. The introduction reminded me of a movie trailer. It was very dramatic and pulls the audience into the world. I do not know what you have planned for future installments, and I know that Indra is the main focus since we are in Indian Epics, but it could be helpful if you gave Thor and Zeus introductions like you gave Indra in The Rise of Indra, because some people may not have any previous knowledge of them.
Hi David! I really enjoyed learning about Indra. I thought it was really clever how you decided to bring in the other gods to show how powerful Indra really is. Your Introduction was really helpful and effective I definitely would have been lost or without context of Indra Lord of Thunder if I didn't read the introduction first. I think something you should add in the author's notes are why you chose to write what you wrote. I think having that added will bring out a little something extra and help those who read your stories make a connection with you, also. Something else that I also think would be effective is if you added some more pictures throughout your text. Not only will more pictures help break up the blocks of text, but it will also help with the effectiveness of your story. I look forward to reading your posts in the future. Good luck with the rest of your project!
Hello David, I thought the premise of your project exceptionally intriguing, I had not thought of the idea of mixing mythologies like you have, and the introduction you wrote, describing the situation and tentative peace, really set the stage for what direction your story was planning. One thing to maybe add to your introduction is a picture of each of the three deities in order to present to the reader the image of them that you want them to have. For the Rise of Indra story, I was wondering if the timeline could be established at the start of the story, are all the other Teutonic and Hellenic pantheons established at this point, are they around the same age as Indra, etc, just to remind the reader about the setting. The story itself was a great way to introduce Indra to the world, and to show the reader the extent of his powers, to really set him up as a player in this divine power struggle.
I really like your story of The Rise of Indra. Where you had different regions that are control by different gods. Like Zeus the god of thunder from Greece who travel to Indra's domain to defeat the Vritra who stopped everything that people wanted. The story was nice and it detailed was really nice so it gives the image of what is happening and why it is happening. Never knew that Zeus and Indra domain will be fighting the same enemy which was powerful enough to take on anyone. I was thinking what if the story was changed and made it like Zeus and Indra fight together would be awesome. This will whole different story and something new that nobody had think about that two god of different domain fighting together. Even though I really like your story and I will look forward to read more of your stories in the future.
First, I want to start by saying that I love the banner image you selected! I chose the exact same one for my storybook which involves the Greek god, Zeus, as well. I think that is so crazy, but I really do believe that is a great image that reminds me of Zeus.
Also, your intro is awesome. I like that in your intro you give a quick summary for your readers story and intrigue us to keep reading by presenting a few questions and leaving the readers curious. You do a great job of enticing the audience to read more of your stories. I like that you end your intro with "Will Thor and Zeus' alliance last with Indra in the picture? What will each of them decide to do?" These questions definitely caught my eye and made me excited to read more of your story book!
Hi David! First off, I love the idea of having an understanding among the Thunder Gods of different mythologies. Especially since they each have such different personalities, as you point out in your introduction, there is a lot of potential for conflict between the jealous Zeus and the honorable Thor and a new unknown Thunder God. It sounds like a really interesting basis for a story!
I like how you have introduced Indra to be different from both Thor and Zeus. Indra is devoted to his followers and does what he can to protect them as opposed to the Western Gods. I also like how you explain how Indra became a God Zeus thought was worth paying attention to. Since Zeus' army was having trouble and Indra was able to easily defeat Vritra Zeus has no choice but to acknowledge Indra's strength. I hope you continue the story and dive into how the three gods interact and how Thor comes to acknowledge (or not acknowledge) Indra.
I had to come here just from the title alone. Indra vs. Thor and Zeus! That title made me want to see an epic battle between the different Thunder Gods. I really like the way you told the story about the birth of Indra and Agni into the rivalry between different Gods. I thought it was a very good story and I really thought the images you used worked well with the story.
David, The titel of your project was so epic that I had to check it out. Gods of thunder battling it out for supremacy is an awesome concept. The images you provide feed into that epic feeling as well. I enjoyed the amount of detail you put into your fight scenes. I literally saw the smoke clearing around Thor and Indra. Very awesome. I now have this crazy picture of thor fighting Indra in a long drawn out battle. I would love to actually watch that fight go down. MY money is on Thor though.
Hi david. i really like the theme of your project. Conflict between different cultures thunder gods was a really interesting and creative theme. I also like how each of the Gods had a very distinct personality. I thought your first story did a good job at tying together this theme and what you were trying to do. Your authors note also helped a lot. Your second story was also really good. I liked the setting and how Thor was the one to go fight and in the end decided to end the fight. I thought you tried to include to much in this story. A lot of the details were already in the intro or did not need to be included. It interrupted the flow. Overall really great project and I am looking forward to how it ends. I also really liked your picture of Indra fighting the giant snake.
Hi David! I was really happy to have the chance to read your latest story. I like that in "Indra vs. Thor" you delve into even more of the differences between the western and Indian gods. Maybe when you talk about how Zeus and Thor usually send their half-god children to handle these things you could bring up how Indian gods are born into the human world themselves as Avatars.
It's also nice that you hint that Zeus and Thor only think they have exclusive control of the skies, but their supremacy is only "perceived."
The only things I noticed were a couple typos. In the third paragraph, you might want to reread the sentence that starts with "Thor and Zeus were long-time rivals," and in the last paragraph, in the sentence that starts, "He told Indra as much," I think you have an extra "him" that shouldn't be there.
Hey there, David! I was very excited when I had the chance to read your stories for the first time. I have not checked up on your project in a while, so I was eager to see what you had been working so hard on during the semester. I hope that I can provide some valuable feedback now that this is my second time around reading your stories. I noticed that you had added two additional stories since I last checked in here. I really enjoyed the amount of background detail you provided about each god. This was especially useful when you describe Indra. I like how you presented his strengths and mentioned how he was relatively unknown in the western world. Indra was able to clearly present his strength and slay the demon that the party of Zeus could not. This was definitely a great introduction to display Indra's strength. I thought the following conflict was also really cool. I liked the inclusion of Zeus and Thor and their immediate reaction to go fight Indra. I think this accurately describes the different ways of thought amongst the different cultures.
Hi David, I like how you chose to do lord of thunder as your portfolio. I love Thor and what he stands for. That seems like a fun topic to learn about. I did enjoy your stories. I thought they were fun to read and very unique to everyone else's stories. The only thing that really stuck out to me was"They Gods who had gathered for the", I think you meant The gods who. I like what you have done since I have last seen your portfolio. You have added two new stories and I did enjoy reading them. I think these gods are so interesting to learn about and we get to see them on the big screen. Thanks for making it a way that we can read and relate it to India culture. Good luck with the rest of the semester. It is almost done. You are doing great.
Hi David great job on your storybook so far! I appreciate the introduction because it sets the storybook up really well and explains a lot of the background for the overall storybook. I really like the story "Rise of the Indra". It sets up Indra as the main character and explains what kind of god he is which is important for the rest of the story. Adding the parts about him destroying the demons adds a lot of depth to the story. One thing I would recommend is describing his creation in more detail. I think that would be an interesting addition to the story. For the second story, Indra vs. Thor, the way you describe Thor and Zeus's meeting is entertaining. However, I think the story would be even more entertaining if there was more of an emphasis on the actual battle that took place. Great job on your storybook so far I look forward to reading more.
Hello, nice to meet you David! I just got done looking through your storybook page! The idea you decided to base your storybook off of is super cool David! The way you decided to take on different different cultures as well as indian epics is a really neat and original idea. Especially having each of the gods' of thunder and lightning battling each other for who controls the sky. How you were able to follow from the origins of Indra all the way to him being confronted by Zeus and Thor for control over the sky was incredible and an amazing idea. I wish you were able to keep creating the story behind this. Maybe I am just super into this idea because I love anythign about mythological beings from any culture there is. Also you choices of pictures are all amazing and really bring life to your stories throughout.
Hi again David! I came to see how your storybook ends, and I gotta say that I like it. I appreciated the fact that you made all of the thunder gods equal in their strength. It was a cool way to do it, rather than just having Indra be stronger or outwitting the other two. Your choice of images in all of your stories was top notch, especially the statue of Zeus in your final story. Like I mentioned in my first post here, I love the idea of mashing together gods from different pantheons and having them interact. It's a fairly under used concept and I feel like it should be used more often because it leads to some seriously awesome stories like this one. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your stories and I hope you had as much fun writing them! Great job on all your hard work man!
Hey David, I really enjoyed reading your storybook. What a creative idea it was to pit Indra against other thunder gods from the Norse and Greek traditions. I think that using Zeus and Thor to create conflict for your version of Indra works quite well. I also thought it was awesome that you tell the story of Indra defeating Vritra in your first storybook entry. I also used Vritra in my storybook but in a very different way. I think my one suggestion regarding revision to make your storybook even stronger would be to expand some of your stories and make them longer. Especially "Indra vs. Thor," I was excited to read about these two gods of thunder going head-to-head but when the fight scene happened it felt anticlimactic. It is like you spent so much time getting there that you didn't give yourself enough time to flesh out the actual battle. You do so well with the small amount of fighting you write that I bet you'd be able to come up with a way to make the scene feel fuller and more well-rounded. Other than that, great job!
Hi David!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea to pit Indra against the leaders of the Norse pantheon! I am intrigued, and I can't wait to read some stories, especially to learn how Indra's appearance throws everything out of whack for Thor and Zeus (and to learn more about the timeline, considering the cyclic nature of Indra's existence). Your site is very functional and easy to navigate, and the picture you've chosen is great.
I do think that the giant paragraph in your introduction could be broken into a few smaller pieces, for reading ease and to add some structure to the storyplan you've laid out. Just a thought!
I also find myself wanting to see a picture of Thor and Zeus somewhere, to get a visual of them on the same page as Indra (kind of like when you see a wrestling advertisement?) This could build some additional suspense for your readers, too.
This is a great project idea, I am looking forward to the stories!
Hey David, I picked your story because I like tales that deal with super hero's, this means that this story will have action and reading about action is always exciting. Thor and Zeus tales are always full of fighting and action so I see why you picked this to Thunder of Gods for your story. I can not wait to see what else you have in story between these Gods. This was a good start off because you tell the overall idea of the story then you kind of branch off and tell a few different things that happened. Having a story telling with Gods is always a good way to catch a persons attention that enjoys these kind of tales. Battles in these tales always make the reader more interesting because someone always come out in the lower end. I think you did good telling this tale and I think it will be a good tale.
ReplyDeleteHey David! I am so excited about your storybook. I think it is such a great idea to mix mythologies by bringing in various gods with the same (or at least similar) legends and powers. Your introduction offered a great outline of what to expect in your story. Have you considered maybe writing it more like a story that just a description? Adding a little drama, dialogue, and maybe a specific scene could be a great way to grab your readers' interest. I also think it may be fun to end your story with the three gods getting along and living in peace for thousands of years only to have to band together to face a new god of thunder: Russell Westbrook (Or Nick Collison or Steven Adams or whoever). Or maybe these gods are who began the OKC Thunder? It's a pretty silly suggestion, but I just thought I'd throw it out there in case you were looking for a way to modernize what is sure to be an exciting story!
ReplyDeleteHey there, David!
ReplyDeleteI am super excited to read the stories that you have planned for the rest of the semester. I am a huge fan of Greek Mythology, so I was happy to see that you are including Zeus in your storybook. I also think it is awesome that you are using Thor, a Norse god, as well. I had never thought to cross over heroic figures from different cultures. I think what you are doing here is really awesome because of that. I do not know much about Indra. I did a little bit of research on Indra weeks ago, but I do not know much. I am wondering how Indra will react to Zeus and Thor? Zeus seems to be very combative about this new rival. However, will Indra be more reasonable and seek peace? I will definitely be checking in over the course of the semester to see what you are able to create!
Hey David! Wow, what an interesting topic for your storybook! Combining Greek mythology, Indian epics, and Marvel comics is such a unique and cool idea. I would have never thought of this concept myself so I must give you props for this idea for your storybook. I enjoyed the background you gave, especially the background info and knowledge about Thor and Zeus. To add to your introduction, you could briefly talk about the fight between Thor and Zeus. I enjoyed how you describe the personalities of Thor and Zeus. It gives readers an idea of who they are and how their personalities can influence their encounter with Indra. I like how you finished the introduction with the two questions. It makes readers want to read your stories to answer the questions given in the introduction. Overall, well-written and intriguing introduction! Great intro and I cannot wait to read your stories, David!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteHey David! I really enjoyed reading your introduction page. The title of your website really caught my eye because I am so interested in this sort of writing. I am actually watching the new movie, Thor Ragnarok. I am really just now getting interested in this sort of thing, so I really hope that reading your writing throughout the remainder of this semester will make me even more interested.
I would also really like to know how you got into this kind of thing and what interests you. I really think writing should be inspired by something that we love because the writing just seems to flow more well and make more sense when we are truly passionate about it. I see that you have not yet posted any stories, so one suggestion that I have is that when you do post, make sure that you are really into what you have to say.
Hey there, David! I really like your Introduction. You really did combine Greek Mythology, Indian Epics, and Marvel Comics three different topic into one I never have thought of that, it a really unique idea. Plus I like how you picked all three gods who control lightning and they also fight with lighting so basically lightning run in their blood. I also like how you introduce the background of Thor, Zeus, and how they fought for centuries but couldn’t decide on who the winner is and then comes Indra another god of thunder and they have share their power? I don’t think so. I personally knew the background of Indra because I believe in Hinduism so I know what he does and who he is and how arrogant he is so we will definitely see a big fight. And I also liked how you ended the intro with question and can’t wait to read your stories and one more thing it would help a lot if you divide this giant paragraph in to two to three. Good Luck
ReplyDeleteHi David! The premise for your story book is very interesting! I love the idea of different Gods from different pantheons coming together to do battle with each other. It reminds me of the video game, Smite, which is a MOBA comprised entirely of gods, goddesses, and various other mythological beings from different pantheons. I think you could have done a bit more exposition in your introduction, however. Most of it was spent explaining Zeus and Thor's feud and stalemate, and putting less emphasis on Indra. I think more focus could be put on Indra and his rise, even though the first story is all about Indra's beginnings. It would be nice to get a preview of it in the introduction and would help to set the stage for the first story in your storybook, along with the set up for the later stories that you already have. All in all, your storybook looks awesome, and I'll definitely be checking back in soon to see how Indra fares against the thunder gods of the Greek and Norse pantheons!
ReplyDeleteHi David! I loved how learning about Indra! When I was thinking about doing the storybook he was one of the subjects I considered. I am a big fan of marvel characters and so I am glad that you connected Thor into the story, and Zeus is so well known from most people’s high school that I think it was good you included him too. These factors make the story so interesting and fun. I also liked the writing style. The introduction reminded me of a movie trailer. It was very dramatic and pulls the audience into the world. I do not know what you have planned for future installments, and I know that Indra is the main focus since we are in Indian Epics, but it could be helpful if you gave Thor and Zeus introductions like you gave Indra in The Rise of Indra, because some people may not have any previous knowledge of them.
ReplyDeleteHi David! I really enjoyed learning about Indra. I thought it was really clever how you decided to bring in the other gods to show how powerful Indra really is. Your Introduction was really helpful and effective I definitely would have been lost or without context of Indra Lord of Thunder if I didn't read the introduction first. I think something you should add in the author's notes are why you chose to write what you wrote. I think having that added will bring out a little something extra and help those who read your stories make a connection with you, also. Something else that I also think would be effective is if you added some more pictures throughout your text. Not only will more pictures help break up the blocks of text, but it will also help with the effectiveness of your story. I look forward to reading your posts in the future. Good luck with the rest of your project!
ReplyDeleteHello David, I thought the premise of your project exceptionally intriguing, I had not thought of the idea of mixing mythologies like you have, and the introduction you wrote, describing the situation and tentative peace, really set the stage for what direction your story was planning. One thing to maybe add to your introduction is a picture of each of the three deities in order to present to the reader the image of them that you want them to have. For the Rise of Indra story, I was wondering if the timeline could be established at the start of the story, are all the other Teutonic and Hellenic pantheons established at this point, are they around the same age as Indra, etc, just to remind the reader about the setting. The story itself was a great way to introduce Indra to the world, and to show the reader the extent of his powers, to really set him up as a player in this divine power struggle.
ReplyDeleteHello David!
ReplyDeleteI really like your story of The Rise of Indra. Where you had different regions that are control by different gods. Like Zeus the god of thunder from Greece who travel to Indra's domain to defeat the Vritra who stopped everything that people wanted. The story was nice and it detailed was really nice so it gives the image of what is happening and why it is happening. Never knew that Zeus and Indra domain will be fighting the same enemy which was powerful enough to take on anyone. I was thinking what if the story was changed and made it like Zeus and Indra fight together would be awesome. This will whole different story and something new that nobody had think about that two god of different domain fighting together. Even though I really like your story and I will look forward to read more of your stories in the future.
ReplyDeleteHi David!
First, I want to start by saying that I love the banner image you selected! I chose the exact same one for my storybook which involves the Greek god, Zeus, as well. I think that is so crazy, but I really do believe that is a great image that reminds me of Zeus.
Also, your intro is awesome. I like that in your intro you give a quick summary for your readers story and intrigue us to keep reading by presenting a few questions and leaving the readers curious. You do a great job of enticing the audience to read more of your stories. I like that you end your intro with "Will Thor and Zeus' alliance last with Indra in the picture? What will each of them decide to do?" These questions definitely caught my eye and made me excited to read more of your story book!
Hi David! First off, I love the idea of having an understanding among the Thunder Gods of different mythologies. Especially since they each have such different personalities, as you point out in your introduction, there is a lot of potential for conflict between the jealous Zeus and the honorable Thor and a new unknown Thunder God. It sounds like a really interesting basis for a story!
ReplyDeleteI like how you have introduced Indra to be different from both Thor and Zeus. Indra is devoted to his followers and does what he can to protect them as opposed to the Western Gods. I also like how you explain how Indra became a God Zeus thought was worth paying attention to. Since Zeus' army was having trouble and Indra was able to easily defeat Vritra Zeus has no choice but to acknowledge Indra's strength. I hope you continue the story and dive into how the three gods interact and how Thor comes to acknowledge (or not acknowledge) Indra.
I had to come here just from the title alone. Indra vs. Thor and Zeus! That title made me want to see an epic battle between the different Thunder Gods. I really like the way you told the story about the birth of Indra and Agni into the rivalry between different Gods. I thought it was a very good story and I really thought the images you used worked well with the story.
ReplyDeleteDavid, The titel of your project was so epic that I had to check it out. Gods of thunder battling it out for supremacy is an awesome concept. The images you provide feed into that epic feeling as well. I enjoyed the amount of detail you put into your fight scenes. I literally saw the smoke clearing around Thor and Indra. Very awesome. I now have this crazy picture of thor fighting Indra in a long drawn out battle. I would love to actually watch that fight go down. MY money is on Thor though.
ReplyDeleteHi david. i really like the theme of your project. Conflict between different cultures thunder gods was a really interesting and creative theme. I also like how each of the Gods had a very distinct personality. I thought your first story did a good job at tying together this theme and what you were trying to do. Your authors note also helped a lot. Your second story was also really good. I liked the setting and how Thor was the one to go fight and in the end decided to end the fight. I thought you tried to include to much in this story. A lot of the details were already in the intro or did not need to be included. It interrupted the flow. Overall really great project and I am looking forward to how it ends. I also really liked your picture of Indra fighting the giant snake.
ReplyDeleteHi David! I was really happy to have the chance to read your latest story. I like that in "Indra vs. Thor" you delve into even more of the differences between the western and Indian gods. Maybe when you talk about how Zeus and Thor usually send their half-god children to handle these things you could bring up how Indian gods are born into the human world themselves as Avatars.
ReplyDeleteIt's also nice that you hint that Zeus and Thor only think they have exclusive control of the skies, but their supremacy is only "perceived."
The only things I noticed were a couple typos. In the third paragraph, you might want to reread the sentence that starts with "Thor and Zeus were long-time rivals," and in the last paragraph, in the sentence that starts, "He told Indra as much," I think you have an extra "him" that shouldn't be there.
Good job! It's been fun reading your stories.
Hey there, David!
ReplyDeleteI was very excited when I had the chance to read your stories for the first time. I have not checked up on your project in a while, so I was eager to see what you had been working so hard on during the semester. I hope that I can provide some valuable feedback now that this is my second time around reading your stories. I noticed that you had added two additional stories since I last checked in here. I really enjoyed the amount of background detail you provided about each god. This was especially useful when you describe Indra. I like how you presented his strengths and mentioned how he was relatively unknown in the western world. Indra was able to clearly present his strength and slay the demon that the party of Zeus could not. This was definitely a great introduction to display Indra's strength. I thought the following conflict was also really cool. I liked the inclusion of Zeus and Thor and their immediate reaction to go fight Indra. I think this accurately describes the different ways of thought amongst the different cultures.
Hi David,
ReplyDeleteI like how you chose to do lord of thunder as your portfolio. I love Thor and what he stands for. That seems like a fun topic to learn about. I did enjoy your stories. I thought they were fun to read and very unique to everyone else's stories. The only thing that really stuck out to me was"They Gods who had gathered for the", I think you meant The gods who. I like what you have done since I have last seen your portfolio. You have added two new stories and I did enjoy reading them. I think these gods are so interesting to learn about and we get to see them on the big screen. Thanks for making it a way that we can read and relate it to India culture. Good luck with the rest of the semester. It is almost done. You are doing great.
Hi David great job on your storybook so far! I appreciate the introduction because it sets the storybook up really well and explains a lot of the background for the overall storybook. I really like the story "Rise of the Indra". It sets up Indra as the main character and explains what kind of god he is which is important for the rest of the story. Adding the parts about him destroying the demons adds a lot of depth to the story. One thing I would recommend is describing his creation in more detail. I think that would be an interesting addition to the story. For the second story, Indra vs. Thor, the way you describe Thor and Zeus's meeting is entertaining. However, I think the story would be even more entertaining if there was more of an emphasis on the actual battle that took place. Great job on your storybook so far I look forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteHello, nice to meet you David!
ReplyDeleteI just got done looking through your storybook page! The idea you decided to base your storybook off of is super cool David! The way you decided to take on different different cultures as well as indian epics is a really neat and original idea. Especially having each of the gods' of thunder and lightning battling each other for who controls the sky. How you were able to follow from the origins of Indra all the way to him being confronted by Zeus and Thor for control over the sky was incredible and an amazing idea. I wish you were able to keep creating the story behind this. Maybe I am just super into this idea because I love anythign about mythological beings from any culture there is. Also you choices of pictures are all amazing and really bring life to your stories throughout.
Hi again David!
ReplyDeleteI came to see how your storybook ends, and I gotta say that I like it. I appreciated the fact that you made all of the thunder gods equal in their strength. It was a cool way to do it, rather than just having Indra be stronger or outwitting the other two. Your choice of images in all of your stories was top notch, especially the statue of Zeus in your final story. Like I mentioned in my first post here, I love the idea of mashing together gods from different pantheons and having them interact. It's a fairly under used concept and I feel like it should be used more often because it leads to some seriously awesome stories like this one. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your stories and I hope you had as much fun writing them! Great job on all your hard work man!
Hey David, I really enjoyed reading your storybook. What a creative idea it was to pit Indra against other thunder gods from the Norse and Greek traditions. I think that using Zeus and Thor to create conflict for your version of Indra works quite well. I also thought it was awesome that you tell the story of Indra defeating Vritra in your first storybook entry. I also used Vritra in my storybook but in a very different way. I think my one suggestion regarding revision to make your storybook even stronger would be to expand some of your stories and make them longer. Especially "Indra vs. Thor," I was excited to read about these two gods of thunder going head-to-head but when the fight scene happened it felt anticlimactic. It is like you spent so much time getting there that you didn't give yourself enough time to flesh out the actual battle. You do so well with the small amount of fighting you write that I bet you'd be able to come up with a way to make the scene feel fuller and more well-rounded. Other than that, great job!
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